Too Much Info- Read at your own risk!!!

So a trip to the doctor today. Have been having quite a bit of bleeding still which has been getting worse rather than better and then passed some good sized clots on Saturday. Nobody tells you these things for a reason. Because if you knew all this we wouldn't have an OVER population problem. More like under, way under. So an ultrasound later me and the girls (yep, they got to come along- what a fun first outing by ourselves) found out that there are things still living in my uterus. No, not sea monkeys or anything (I know, that's what I thought at first too) but some large clots and possibly some placental fragments. Yuck. As if there hadn't been enough yuck already. So now I have some drugs to take that will hopefully squeeze it all out (I said "at your own risk"). Can't wait. Promises to be unpleasant in a many number of ways. Luckily, there doesn't seem to be any infection yet. This all would explain my inability to breastfeed, which oddly enough makes me feel better and less like a "bad, lazy mom". Not sure why I feel compelled to share this, but that's what I do. Odd I know. But then again, you are reading this so you therefore could be viewed as just as odd.

Talking about yucky things... I start work this week on Thursday. I am mostly in denial. Nothing personal co-workers. Just can't bear the thought of leaving my girls. It helps to know Brian will be home with them rather than some stranger. Although, after last nites yelling fest and tonights choking episode I'm not sure how excited Bri is for me to go back to work either. He'll do great though. I have faith.