Our Hero! (Or turn away from that light!)

That's Brian. Our hero. Turns out that our life can never be boring. Friday night on my way home from work I got a panicked call from my hubby. Lili was choking. Purple. Not breathing. As he is telling me to hurray home I can hear about 4 good cries before all goes silent again. This is not my idea of unwinding from work. It is now the longest 7 blocks I've ever driven. I arrived home to find Lili now crying and Brian scared out of his mind. I helped get Lili cleaned up as she turned from a purple-going-on-black to the whitest of whites. She was cold and sleepy but responsive and breathing. I knew it would take a little time for her body to start shunting blood back to her non-vital organs and extremities and replenish the oxygen she had lost. I wrapped her in a blanket and slooowwwwllllyyyyy she warmed back up and started to turn pink again.

Brian in the mean time looked like hell. I've never seen him so broken looking. He did well, though and it took a lot to convince him of it. He pounded and suctioned and pounded and suctioned until our little girl was breathing again. He saved her. Sure, it was hard and very overwhelming and down right terrifying, but he stuck with her and saved her. I don't think either of us could explain the pain and terror that goes through a parent when they see the look of panic on their child's face as they struggle to take a breath. Next time 911 will receive a call instead of me, but other than that he did exactly what he needed to do. Isn't it amazing how our body can just take over when we are in a panic and do what needs to be done? So, now both our girls have seen the white light on the other side and will hopefully feel no further need to go exploring.

So this will only continue to keep me on the slightly neurotic side. Granted it was a fluke. Lili was startled as she was being picked up and of course choose that EXACT moment to puke and inhale it into her nose, mouth, lungs. But still... What if? My head is full of them. What if it had been Julie home alone with them briefly when it happened? What if the bulb syringe had been miss placed? What if it happens on one of those (many) days we are out and have forgotten the diaper bag and we have NO suctioner? Whatifwhatifwhatif? Ugghhh. I'm not fully sure I'm up for this parenting business. How does one manage to hang on to their sanity?

Thank god for Brian. Thank god for looking over us and our girls!