Happiness is...

That's what I'm working to find out. Much of late I have felt bitter and grumpy; exhausted really.  And my life, well, is great really. Yes, we feel broke as a joke most days, but we truly have all we need & we have each other. So why the gloom? Why the urge to get in my car, drive off and leave it all behind, start over?

A number of reasons I suppose. I could blame it on the sheer exhaustion of twins, or perhaps the emotional drain that comes with work and giving all of me all day to others, or even on the lack of "me" time. Really, what I think it boils down to is perspective.

Really, my worst problem is how to fix the car so one of us doesn't have to start riding the bus. I could be worried about how I am going to feed my kids whom instead I must watch waste away and die or where my family will go since we are homeless and it is supposed to freeze and eventually snow or the men coming in the night to rape me and my children before they kill us or my village being bombed or my husband taken or a million other terrible things that happen to women every day that are far more consequential. Instead I am sad about the cute shoes I  can't afford or if I should send my kids to preschool...

So this next year I work on me & my perspective, my gratitude, my happiness month by month. I will try to keep you posted, share some inspirational thoughts or moments I find as well as brag about the good, the funny, the horribly sweet I finally wake up and notice along the way.

Motto for this month: The days are long but the years are short