Today

Thank you everyone for bearing with all my crazy lately.  I have just needed a place to vent and I am not much of a Facebook sort of person. I have had a few people ask me, with that concerned look, "Are you okay?"   For the record, yes, I am good.  My apologies if I have not made that clear.  I DO have so much to be thankful for, logically, I realize this.  That has been my conundrum. I don't feel like I am realizing that on a daily basis.  My perspective, all around, has been negative. And frankly, I am sick of my attitude.  I want to fully live in the positive things that surround me.

I had a perfect example the other day.  I made a really good catch at work and was able to straighten out some incorrect information to a parent before they collected urine for a specialized test.  Had I not investigated it, they would have had to repeat it.  Now, the attitude I would like to say I had and which I am growing towards is "Awesome! Yep, I'm awesome. What a rockstar!"  But instead, my initial, gut reaction was "Are you f*cking kidding me! Now I have to be a lab tech too?! Yeah, cuz I don't have enough sh*t to do already!"  (Yeah, I swear like a sailor at work).  Same scenario, just two completely different ways to view it.  I prefer to be the former.

So today, I am working on "positive self talk" and saying out loud what I am grateful for.  Today, it is that I got to leave early to hang out with my sick kid (Addi) and have some quality time alone with her (especially now that she isn't acting too sick).  I am also thankful for the AMAZING time I had last night at my first official book club meeting.  At one point I was laughing so hard, tears running down my face, that I though that I might crap my pants or at least fart real loud. Luckily, I was able to contain my bowels :)